A Look Into The Mind Of Nicci Claspell...

As I'm sure you can guess, much has happened in the past few months. Chicago has been over for some time now, and was a really fantastic production. I can't say it went off without a hitch, but I'm confident in saying that everyone is really proud of what we put up. And it was filmed!! That is rarely allowed out here, so it's exciting that we'll be able to order dvds and see how good we actually were :)

In other un-career-related news, I've been single for a few months. It's a strange thing after being in a serious relationship for over 3 years, but I knew it was what had to happen. Very hard to do, but the right decision. In the time since, I've been focusing a lot on rebuilding relationships with friends and dedicating myself to my career. Which brings us back to the point of this blog...

I've been on several auditions, a few film/tv/commercial but mainly plays and musicals. I've actually been cast in and had to turn down/drop out of a few projects for various reasons. It's something I hate doing, but have found it necessary due to other developments! Which I'll get to right now.

The main reason I'm back here today is to talk about my most recent trip to New York. As you may have noticed in past blog entries, I try not to divulge too much information about projects I get excited about. Maybe it's superstition... considering the fact that I wear the exact same thing to a callback as I did to the initial audition, right down to socks and undies (yes they get washed first), I'd say it's probably superstition. Well, I've been doing the opposite lately and it seems to be working wonders. So get ready for the longest post ever, because I plan on giving more details than ever before!

I'll start by saying the main event here is the American Idiot first national tour. I attended an open call at the beginning of March, three months ago. I woke up later than I intended, and expected there to be a huge turnout for the call. Here's what I wrote in my planner while I was waiting for my turn to sing:

"This could have been the one, but this is not the one. Just because I couldn't get ready fast enough. I'm number 46 or 48, somewhere around there. I believe they've got Equity & EMC scheduled till at least 11:40, and the audition is supposed to go until 4:45, so hopefully it will go smoothly so I can sing. I like open calls. I like when they hold us in a big dance studio, it's great for observing people. They asked for the guys to bring a guitar to accompany themselves, so I'd say there's at least 3 guitars being played simultaneously at any given time. I like that this all doesn't make me nervous. It may have a few years ago, but I feel relaxed now. The only thing is, I wonder if it looks like I'm trying too hard, with my hair and my clothes. I brought a few different tops & shoes just in case, and I'm pretty sure I'll be changing. It's not like I don't have the time!"

And a little while later:

"This might be the one. They're actually ahead of schedule, by about 20 minutes. My appointment time is 3:20, so I may go shopping & be back by 2:30. Though I may not - knowing me, if I leave, I may not come back.

Even just a callback. For ensemble. Please! A shot is all I need."

So now you all see the flashes of desperation I get while auditioning. At least I can still be relaxed during it all.

Here's what happened... I had planned on singing a Paramore song that I didn't really know, and wasn't even sure I liked. I have Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker" in my book as a backup, but I figured half of the girls there would be singing that. I did decide to leave and come back, and while I was in my car I was thinking of other songs I could possibly sing instead. When I got home I began searching for Melissa Etheridge sheet music, when it hit me. "Whats Up" by 4 Non Blondes. I'd never heard it on piano, and have only sung in a handful of times when it came on the radio or someone else sang it at karaoke, but I knew it was the song I had to sing. I found the sheet music online, printed it, and headed back over to the studio.

There was only a little bit of waiting until it was my time to sing, and the dance studio had cleared out considerably. I got into the room, went over the song with the pianist, and began to sing. I did have to start over once because I underestimated how much breath I would need to singe the first line, but once I got going again I don't think it could have gone much better. In fact, in the middle of the song where it starts to get loud and powerful, I'm pretty sure a silly grin crept up on my face because I realized it sounded even better than I thought it would! It sat perfectly in my voice and I belted the top notes with ease.

It takes me about 20 minutes to get home from this particular studio. I looked at my phone when I got home and saw that there was a voicemail - it was from the American Idiot people, requesting I come back the next day for a callback. I hustled to switch my shift at work and confirmed that I would be there. The following day, the main casting director was also in the room. I sang the same song, and was asked on the spot to come back in a few days to sing once again, and to dance. I was given music for the character Whatsername, one of the leads.

The day of that third callback was an exciting one! I sang in the morning - my audition song, plus one of the two songs from the show they had given me, it was put on tape this time - then I had an audition for a film, then went back for a dance call for American Idiot. It's days like those they make you feel like a real like actor, pounding the pavement. Dance calls usually make me just a little nervous because although I can dance, I wouldn't consider myself a "dancer". Luckily, this dance call mainly involved running back and forth and throwing ourselves around. Though a little painful, it was easy as pie. I was among the 6 or so girls that were asked to stay and learn a second, shorter combination. That, too, was pretty easy to pick up.

About a week later I received an email from casting, saying they thought I did really well at the callback. They wouldn't know what the "next steps" would be until May, but to let them know if there was anything that would make me unavailable to them.

Fast forward to 4 weeks ago (wow, was it a month ago already??), I got an email saying that more callbacks would be held in New York and they would like me to attend if I was able. Well, there is NO way that I was not going to be available!! Luckily, I had already requested the weekend in question off because of a friend's potential birthday weekend in Vegas. As fate would have it, that excursion was cancelled so I didn't have to miss out on any big celebration, and I didn't have to get any shifts covered at work because that was the week that one of our new girls was supposed to start, so she just got those shifts. Everything fit right into place.

I want to take a moment to thank my wonderful parents for providing funds for me to fly to New York and comfortably spend what turned into a week there. A big thanks to my sister as well for hanging out with me and letting me stay with her. Cecil, Anne, and Sarah Claspell, you are the best people in the world :)

I took a redeye on friday night and arrived around 11:00 on Saturday morning. Sarah met me at the subway station and we headed to her beautiful place in West Harlem to drop off my stuff. That night we attended the third annual Improm, which is an improv prom. People involved in comedy all throughout NY dress up to the nines, and couples get to do a 5-10 minute improv set together. Which meant that, as each others dates, Sarah and I got to perform together for pretty much the first time ever. I was nervous about it, having only completed the first level of UCB's improv classes (ooh! I'll have to talk about that later!) but it was fun and we got some laughs. After that, she and I went on to kill it at karaoke downstairs, and impress people with how much we are alike.

The only important thing that happened on Sunday is that Sarah and I got lobster rolls from Luke's Lobster. It was honestly one of the most amazing foods I've ever had. We also went to Williamsburg and saw the most hipster flea market I've ever seen. As I said, Sunday was all about the lobster rolls.

Monday was Memorial Day and we attended "The Company Picnic", another event involving many people in the comedy community. There was also a guac-off which we participated in, and our blue cheese guacamole was a hit. I don't think anyone officially voted, but if they had I'd like to believe we would have won.

And now for the main events, what you've all been waiting for, the callbacks! Tuesday morning at 10:30 was my appointment time. I got up early to do my hair exactly as I had for the initial audition and dress in the exact same clothes. As luck would have it, Sarah works directly across the street from the studios where the callbacks were being held, so she escorted me all the way there! I had some extra time so I decided to find out why everyone from the East coast loves Dunkin Donuts so much. Yeah, they know how to make a donut.

Once inside the studio, I had a little time to wait around and talk to the other people there. I saw a few familiar faces from the Los Angeles auditions. Once again, not nervous. Pretty relaxed. I got into the room not too long after my appointment time and sang the same two songs I had been given three months prior. We were asked to prepare one of five poems, but to my knowledge they didn't actually have anyone do them. When I was done singing, the casting director walked with me out of the room, and asked me to come back later to audition for another project they're doing. When I went to his office to pick up the sides, an associate/assistant told me that they're reviving On A Clear Day You Can See Forever on Broadway, and it's going to be starring Harry Connick Jr. I had a few hours to kill so I bought a new dress that would be more appropriate for this particular role - a 1940's Jazz singer. I'm positive it would have taken away a little if I had shown up in the American Idiot attire. I ended up reading/singing for the casting associate/assistant that I had gotten the sides from, and it felt very good. He actually looked through my book after I sang and asked me to do another song, one of my favorites to sing - "Life of the Party" from The Wild Party. I love singing that song because I feel I can really let go and just have fun. He said considering the amount of time I had to work with the material from the script, I did a great job.

I was called to come the next day to sing and dance for American Idiot again. This time the director, Michael Mayer, was in the room. This was very exciting because he was the original director for Spring awakening, and he's also directing On A Clear Day. That seemed to go well, and once I was done singing, I was given music to look over for a different character. The casting director talked with me again and asked how long I would be in town, and I told him I had a flight early the next morning. He told me to look into how much it would be to change my flight to a later time/date so I could be seen once more for AmId in the morning, and On A Clear Day in the afternoon. If need be, they could help out with the cost. I immediately got on the phone with the airline and got a quote. I also called my manager to tell her the good news.

This particular day got up to about 90 degrees, and had about 64% humidity. It also happened to be the day of the dance call. I changed into my dance attire, complete with leg warmers and a fishnet shrug thing, but once we started dancing these things were quickly removed. Though there was air conditioning in the room, there was only so much it could do with probably 30-something people running around and slamming ourselves into the ground. We also learned another combination that involved capoera and other defensive moves. There was not a single dry body to be seen. Once again, I was asked along with a few other girls to stay and do the same girly combination we were taught in Los Angeles.

As I was leaving the room, I spoke with the casting director and told him the price of the cheapest ticket we found. He said it wasn't a problem, they would reimburse me for it. The whole thing. What? These things happen?? It's a strange and wonderful feeling when you're liked and wanted to the point that a casting company will shell out hundreds of dollars just to keep you in town for one more day. Even now, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

A few hours later I sang once again, this time with just the pianist and musical director, the music for the other character I was given earlier. I was told to forget about the other music and come back the following morning at 11 to sing this new stuff, for the character Extraordinary Girl.

And I did. The toughest part about this whole experience was not being warmed up enough. Unfortunately I couldn't belt some of the notes I normally would have been able to, but luckily I think I was still able to mix them very well. I get the impression that the creative team liked me a lot, and there's nothing more you can really ask for than that.

I had a couple hours to kill before my On A Clear Day audition, so I tracked down the Luke's Lobster truck and got another lobster roll. It was absolute heaven.

I returned to the studios, changed into my more appropriate dress, and sang/read for the Clear Day creative team. Michael Mayor seemed to be impressed that I could transition from punk rock AmId to smooth jazzy Clear Day, and said it's been a good day. It certainly was. A good week, actually.

I slept on and off from around 8pm until 3am, packing and facebooking intermittently. I caught a cab at 4am for a 6:55 flight from LaGuardia. Arrived in LA around noon, went home to drop off my stuff, and went straight to work.

There are several things I glossed over, this entry being long enough already. I got to meet up with some of my friends from my Alabama RENT cast, the lovely Meagan Elizabeth Lewis, Stephanie Mosley, and Lauren Bowling. Tuesday after the first auditions I got to see Sarah perform in 2 improv shows at UCB which were absolutely incredible. I also finally treated myself to 4 meatball sliders from The Meatball Shop, one of my very favorite places to eat in the world, as a celebratory last meal in NY.

I heard from my manager this morning that I seemed too young for On A Clear Day You Can See Forever, which I was half expecting but I'm so happy just that I was brought in for it in the first place. She also said we should hear about American Idiot by the end of the week, which is exciting and nerve wracking. I'd rather it just be a surprise, but now you know exactly how long you have to send good vibes my way. I really do feel great about the whole experience and have a good feeling about it. I'll be sure to update here when I get word!

(to view pictures to go along with all of these words, check out my album on facebook!)

Third Time Is Maybe Not The Charm

A dream come true twice over is plenty. I keep joking to people that I'll be doing RENT for the rest of my life, but as fun as that would be I'd miss many other opportunities. This will be my first pilot season with my manager and agent working for me, which hopefully will yield lots and lots of auditions and - with any luck - a job or two! My manager is also setting up a meeting with another commercial agent and that is going to be good, I just know it.

Wow... so in typical Nicci fashion of late, I had let myself dwell on RENT. The callback was on a Saturday, and we were told that they'd probably be finishing casting by the end of the weekend. When a few friends told me they got calls and were offered roles on Monday, I still held out hope that maybe there was more to be done. Christmas came and went and I still let myself think about it. I even sent the production office an email letting them know how much fun I had at the callback, and that I'd love to be a part of the show in any capacity.

The hardest thing was not knowing if I should be expecting something or not. Sure, no one in this industry is going to give everyone that didn't make the cut a courtesy call. But they had been posting most everything online up to that point so the fact that I never saw a final cast list made me think that maybe they were still in the process. I finally got word from two of my friends that were cast in the show that an email was sent out to the cast. My immediate reaction was to be a little sad. A) It's RENT! and B) I'd love to work with those friends again, I know they're going to be fantastic.

And then... a wave of relief came over me. I'd let a lot of anxiety build up by not letting this particular audition go, and as soon as I know I wasn't waiting for anything anymore I felt like a normal person again. Yet another example of why actors have to forget about the audition as soon as they leave the room. You can cause yourself a lot of frustration otherwise! I am very excited to see my beautiful friends in this show. Ben, my Angel from both RENTs I did, is again one of the Angels, and My darling friend Josie is a Maureen. They're going to be spectacular :)

I had an audition for a reading of a new musical today at the Pasadena Playhouse that I feel good about. Any audition where get to sing Pat Benatar and use a Russian accent is bound to be a fun one. The people behind the camera seemed to like what I did and laughed in all the right places. And now, though I feel good about it, I've let it go. If it happens it happens.

There are also a couple exciting auditions coming up, the first of which being Chicago. I submit myself for the role of Roxie (Velma has already been cast), and got a message from one of the casting people saying that we had a lot of mutual friends, and she was actually planning on finding me on facebook and asking that I come in for the audition. That could be a good sign! If my last dance audition is any indicator, I think I'll do fine tomorrow. I'm not a dancer, but I can dance. And if my body doesn't want to listen to me tomorrow, they're also casting The Last 5 Years which requires no dancing. A different song choice and I think I may have a fighting chance for that too.

Aannnnddddd lastly - I have another meeting with a commercial agent next week. I am so so thrilled. This could be the one, folks.

Too Much Talk About Music

I just got home from the Dangerous Beauty auditions and man do I feel relieved. I got all the info on this audition two weeks ago and have had that much time to think about it. On the one had, it can be nice to have that much more time to prepare, especially when they ask for 2 minutes of music, plus reading some lines. But on the other hand, that's a good amount of time to start to stress out about an audition.

Not to mention that I didn't really have any ballads or up-tempo songs that I was comfortable with or that would go over well at this audition. The one song I normally sing for auditions is kind of a power ballad, even a torch song, therefore NOT a regular ballad or up-tempo. This left me with a few choices: Take the last part of the song more briskly and pretend it's an up-tempo; sing the beginning of the song like a ballad; sing something from Chess (even though I'm not sure it's appropriate for what they're asking); or find brand new songs. So what did I choose? Well, I didn't. I prepared all of those choices.

I found one song from my AMDA days that I never sang but someone else in my class did - "Stranger To The Rain" from Children of Eden. This is a little faster than my go-to song so I took it from the bridge straight on to the end. It was more like a 1:30 but it was a good cut. Into my audition binder I also threw "Heaven Help My Heart" from Chess. That's actually not a bad ballad, I think I'll keep it in there as a just-in-case song. I put "Nobody's Side" from Chess in there too, knowing it was a definite no but at least I could sing the whole thing without forgetting anything if I ever need to. The fourth song I put in the binder was my good ole' go-to, "A New World" from Jekyll and Hyde.

Over the past week I worked on all of these things. I even dug out my keyboard and set up camp on my bed, music strewn allover my room and midi versions of each song queued up on my laptop. After reacquainting myself with all of the songs, the hardest part was to choose which songs to sing. I obviously couldn't sing "A New World" for both my ballad and up-tempo. I decided I'd definitely be doing "Stranger To The Rain", but even when I was getting ready this morning I couldn't decide on a second song.

I even decided to stray from my regular musical-theatre-audition-dress, so everything about this audition was a bit foreign to me. I did feel much better when the casting director came out to get me and told me she'd been hearing great things about me. And when I stepped into the room I got a compliment on my dress. Hooray! I went to the pianist and told him I'd start with the up-tempo, and he told me that they'd so far been doing only one song. Hooray again! I got up there and sang, and felt better than any practice run I'd done up until then. They liked the song, and then we moved onto the sides. I read through with the casting director once, was given a not by the director, and then read it again. They liked how I took the adjustment and the choices I made, and that was that!

When I left I felt confident and that's really the most important thing. I think I have a shot at it, and if not this then at least the CD has finally seen me and what I can do. Cross your fingers for me!

I Am Alive And Well

As I'm sure you've noticed, it's been about a month and a half since I last posted an entry. I haven't been trying to avoid blogging by any means - in fact there have been several times I've wanted to blog because some cool things have been happening, but I just haven't done it.

It was recently brought to my attention that some things I say here can be taken as me being narcissistic. I was worried about that when I started the blog. No one whats to toot their own horn too much for fear of others becoming annoyed with the sound. But here's what it comes down to: This is a blog about me. It's an easy way to give family and friends an update on what's happening on my professional journey, as well as some personal and social life stuff, on their own time. If anyone gets tired of reading about me, they can choose not to visit the blog.

On that note, I think it's time for an update!

So where did we leave off... Chess is long over now. We had a brilliant last weekend, and we followed our closing night 1.1 with another potluck. The cast and crew was full of so many wonderful people, there was no way we wouldn't have a good time. I don't think I wrote about this before, but a friend of one of the producers came to see the show and enjoyed it so much that he invited the whole cast to the Magic Castle! I've been wanting to go there for years and years - it's part hotel, part restaurant and venue for magicians to perform. You have to either be a member or invited and accompanied by a member to get in. Luckily, the producers friend is a member (he's a magician) and was our host for the evening. Not only did we get a private magic show from him - that I got to help out with - but there were several floors with lots of rooms and shows happening in them all night long. We were there for about 5 hours. I think that may have also had something to do with the ghost piano player that we had a sing-along with.

I also had the immense pleasure of singing a song with my chess co-star, Blake Ewing, in his one man show at Vitello's in studio city shortly after the show closed. We sang "Someday", a song what was cut from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's a beautiful and moving song, that as far as we know it's only carnation that can be seen is in German on youtube. So unfortunate. His show was packed and went off without a hitch.

That audition I mentioned last time went pretty well. I would have been nice to have been a little more familiar with the sides, but I did the best I could with the time I had and it was in no way a bad audition. And a good thing too because I haven't had an audition since. It's the beginning of pilot season, which means almost all efforts are going toward reviewing and choosing which pilots will go ahead, which in turn means there's not much that's casting just yet. Sure there's projects here and there, but it's not going to get back into full swing until after the new year starts.

So that means now is the time to prepare for the actors portion of pilot season! I finally had that meeting with the commercial agency on Wednesday. I feel like I'm getting better at these things, it only took me an hour to figure out what to wear! I got there with about 10 minutes to spare. The receptionist handed me a folder with four "commercials" in it, and told me to pick one to read to the agent. I spent a couple minutes with that, and then the agent come out to meet me. He was very friendly and easy to talk to, and I got a good feeling about the whole thing. It seemed like everyone there enjoys what they do and actually work for their clients. We chatted a little bit, I read the commercial a few times, and that was that. He said he's be in contact with my manager in a few days.

When I got to work I was greeted with an email from my manager. Unfortunately, it looks like there's a conflict with another client of theirs, most likely meaning they already have someone that's my type. So that's a no-go. Of course my initial reaction was that I was bummed, I've really been looking forward to this. But then I though you know, I guess I can't get them all on the first try. I've been very lucky and signed with the first manager and theatrical agency that I've met with. That really doesn't happen all the time, so I'm excited to take more meetings when we get them. Plus, I'm now 25 and that means I'm legally allowed to do beer and alcohol commercials. I don't know how much that will work to my advantage, but I'd like to imagine that it will very much :)

I'm also lucky that I do, in fact, have an audition next week. It's for a new musical, Dangerous Beauty, based on a 1998 film that was based on a non-fictional book. The casting director for Reprise is bringing me in. That's pretty exciting, because she hasn't even met me yet so either her relationship with my manager is very strong, or Jason Alexander's recommendation weighs pretty heavily. Or Both! The show is going to be in Pasadena which I love because it's so close, and the pay would be pretty darn good too. I'm in the process of choosing some songs. I need two, one uptempo and one ballad, that are 32 bars each. That's a bit of a challenge because nearly every musical theater audition I go to requests 16 bars or less of one song, so I'll be singing 4x as much as I'm used to! It will be good though. I just know it.

The Interim

Over the past two weeks I've been having dreams about Chess. In the first one, we couldn't get the full orchestra back and we just had a synthesizer which we couldn't hear over our own voices. In the second one I think I was sick and had to send someone (from a show I did over a year ago) to go on and sing my first song. Finally last night, I was about to go on stage when I realized I forgot to bring my costume back to the theater, so we had to find something that would work instead. Funny thing is, I wasn't nervous in any of these dreams. I was just happy to be back on the stage doing the show again!

Jeff hosted a lovely party for Michael on Wednesday. Most of the people involved with the show came by for food and good company, and it was really good to see everyone again. Michael is going to try to get his school to bring the show out to Ohio for a performance or two, perhaps in the spring. I think that's a fantastic idea and I'm all for it. I think he thinks we're joking when we say we're into it, but i don't think any of us are. The chance to see Michael again and take this show literally on the road, if even only for one performance, would be really really fun!

Sooo... I had an audition on Friday. My manager emailed me the day before wondering if I'd be interested in auditioning for the game show "Don't Forget The Lyrics". I said why not. For an opportunity to win a couple thousand dollars? Sure. Plus, you never know who the casting director knows. Maybe this could put me on the illusive path to Glee (pff, right). When I got there I filled out a paper and picked three songs off a list to sing myspace karaoke style. At this point I was feeling kind of indifferent about the audition - I was comfortable there, but my career definitely wasn't riding on this show. I picked songs that I thought would show some character: Tainted Love by Soft Cell, One Week by Barenaked Ladies, and of course the old favorite, The Rose, because I wanted something that showed that I actually can sing. The weird thing was, they had different sheets hanging up for backgrounds and all kinds of props and clothes laying around so you could spice up the "music video" any way you wanted.

The weirdest part was that the office walls were all made of glass, and the room we were to sing in was right next to the elevator door, so when someone else walked in the first thing they would see is you singing your song and dancing around in a costume, or whatever you chose to do. It was a little strange. Obviously not like any other audition I've been to, because I've never auditioned for a game show before. I'm used to things I can prepare for, and feel in the moment, and this almost felt like being encouraged to put on a different personality. I can't say it was for me. If they like me and want me on the show, we'll get there when we get there. For now, I'm kinda glad to be done with it.

There was a rehearsal scheduled for tonight, but since many people were unavailable it has now become unrequired. They'll still be running though blocking with the two new people, but we're not obligated to go. Still, I think I will. I need to pick up some of the postcards with the updated show dates, and I'd like to meet these new people. Also, I want Chess back in my blood! I feel like I have to get used to some of those sky-high notes again. We will have another rehearsal on Wednesday that we'll all attend, which I'm most excited about. I can't wait to be around all those beautiful talented people again. And then Thursday is opening night number two!

Check Mate

Wow, you guys have no idea how readership has boomed since that RENT review! It's pretty exciting to see those high numbers. I'd say at least half of the viewers were because Evan linked to it from his review (thanks Ev!). But now, back to writing about yours truly and the things I'm trying to do with my life.

There's a rehearsal tonight for the Chess featured soloists. As it goes, the cast has pretty much all fallen in love with each other (in a platonic way) and a few other people might show up to just to hang out, maybe sing a little if we have to. Today is also the day when I have a meeting about a very important matter. I've been instructed not to talk much about it, and that's fine with me. It would bore you anyway. But at the moment I'm a bit stressed about it, so I'm not 100% that I'll make it out to rehearsal/hang out time. I may just have to head straight home and have a glass of wine, or 3.

The peak of the Perseid meteor shower is tonight, so that should help calm my nerves too. If you aren't aware, I have a childish fascination with bright things in the sky. Namely fireworks, but also lightening and meteor showers. If I saw a UFO, instead of freaking out I'd probably clap and giggle like a 5 year old. It was either last year or the year before when Evan and I went to a nearby mountain to watch this amazing event. I can't remember exactly how many, but we counted an insane amount of meteors in just two hours. So if tonight is anything like that, it'll be almost as good as Disneyland for me.

Tomorrow night we're having a going away party for our dear Michael, a "chesser" who has to go back east to finish up school. We had a potluck at the theater after our last show to wrap up stage 1 of chess, and that was a success. Food was eaten, speeches were made, and good times were had by all. So tomorrow we're all going to another cast member's place in Santa Monica for more food and good company. Michael is a wonderful, talented, special boy, and he will be missed very much!

As much as I know it would pain Micheal to hear this, I am excited to start this next leg of the show. I know it's impossible for the 2 new people we have coming into the cast to replace anyone, but it will be neat to see what new things they bring to the dynamic of the cast and the show. Plus, my manager will actually be able to see it!! We completely sold out last weekend, over sold actually, so even though we added a few more seats to the house we weren't able to accommodate everyone and priority was given to paying customers. And even though they were aware that my manager and her guest were industry, there were apparently more industry people that got there before them. In any case, she brought me the most delicious cupcake and said she'd come back for the extension. She's the best :) Speaking of her being the best, she's trying to get me an audition for Reprise's upcoming show, They're Playing Our Song. Just for ensemble, but it would be good to get in front of Jason Alexander again just to stay fresh in his mind.

Now, not to toot my own horn - but it must be said that I haven't found a single bad review for Chess. More reason that you should come and enjoy it! Here's what some of the critics are saying:

• "The beautiful Nicci Claspell plays Florence, the second to American World Champion Frederick (quirky Blake McIver Ewing) with heart and convition - she avoids pop-song yodeling and sticks to character-driven singing. Well done!"
  -Tony Frankel, www.stageandcinema.com
  

• "The two women were outstanding: Emily Dykas as Svetlana was riveting, and Nicci Claspell was also compelling as Florence. Both of these women had marvelous composure."
  -Robert Machray, http://blogcritics.org

And you should see what they say about the rest of the cast! You can hear a sound clip at www.plays411.net/chessinconcert, and then purchase your discount tickets at www.goldstar.com

Chess Success!

It was so nice to get back to the theater last night and see my lovely chessers! We had a fantastic show on Sunday, perhaps even better than what I had written about for Saturday. It may have been a personal best for everyone in the show to date!

This week in between was a busy one for me. Lots and lots of work - we're looking to fill another receptionist position, so we're rearranging to schedule for the end of the month, I've been calling applicants and setting up meetings, and doing my regular work stuff too. I also went to the Red Sox/Angels game (the Sox won! Yay!) with Evan and my roommates and neighbors and friends, went to trivia night for the first time at Q's Billiards, and had an audition. A productive and fun week.

The audition I went on was yesterday morning for Kevin Smith's new horror movie, "Red State". I was auditioning for two small rolls and I think it went fine. One of them was actually supposed to be in her 20's, which was nice. The other one (or two actually, it was for Girl 1 AND Girl 2) is a 17 year old high school kid. Not that I'm unbelievable as a high school student, but when the other people at the audition talk about living with their parents or having their mom drive them there that morning, I feel pretty seasoned. I have no doubt that I'm doing fine at the auditions, I just need to find where I fit. Soon enough we'll figure out where the industry sees me and I'll start booking things, I'm sure of it.

We were called to the theater at 6:30 to do mic check and run a few numbers. Everything seemed to be going along pretty smoothly, and it's always reassuring when you remember your words after nearly a week of no shows. We were all having fun backstage getting ready, and at our half hour i started getting dressed, only to realize I couldn't find my shoes. They're fairly simple black heels, but since I had worn bright pink polka-dotted galoshes there, it was very important to find them or some other alternative. There was a dance show at the theater over the week and our choreographer was in it, so she text'd all the girls to see if anyone had grabbed them by accident. In the meantime, there were some short boots at the theater from a past production of Oklahoma that almost fit and that's what I wore for the first act. It did throw me off a bit. I want to feel very strong and womanly and these shoes didn't allow that. I felt like my acting was a bit off and I did forget some of my words, but hey - it could have been much worse. I'm sure it's better than to have had to go on with the pink rain boots. I didn't even realize until people told me when I got off stage what a huge applause I got after "Nobody's Side".

Luckily one of the dancers had grabbed the shoes, thinking one of her fellow dancers left them behind, and brought them back so I had them for the second act. I felt like that went much more smoothly for me, and we had an amazing audience. We had a woman in the very front row - closer than normal because of the added seats - mouthing every.single.word of every song, which is impressive because most of us in the show couldn't do that. And our musical director pointed out that you know you've got something really good when the audience starts applauding before the song even ends. Josie, one of the cast members, said there were critics in the audience and they absolutely loved the show. I also had a few friends in the audience, people with whom I've worked on projects before, and they thoroughly enjoyed it.

We actually oversold for the night, and even after bringing in more chairs we had to turn a lot of people away that had comp tickets, including another castmate's agent. My manager is coming with a casting director tonight, so I told her to let the people at the box office know who they are just in case we oversell again.

And for those people that got turned away, they'll have six more chances to come see it because we've officially extended the run! Unfortunately not everyone will be able to do the extended shows, so we'll have 2 weeks off to rehearse and put in a few new people, and our extended dates are August 19-21 and 27-29. We're going to record some audio at tonight's show to use as promotional samples on the ticketing websites, and I wouldn't be surprised if we sell out each of the new dates.

After the performance last night a bunch of us went to The Other Side, a piano bar in Silverlake where our pianist plays weekly. People bring their music books or choose songs that he knows how to play and sing along, a kind of live karaoke. I think almost all of us from the show sang at least one song, if not backing up someone else. Sad that we're all really starting to bond when it's the last weekend for some people, but better late than never.

I have a great feeling about tonight, I have at least six people coming to see me and I'm very excited. We've decided to have a cast/crew potluck afterward which I think will be the perfect way to top off a fun/busy/productive week, and send off those that won't be able to continue the extension with us. Our pseudo-closing night is going to be fantastic.

What A Scene, What A Joy!

As I hinted at earlier, we had a great show last night.

Our preview on Thursday went pretty well. We had a small but enthusiastic audience, and there were just a few flubs throughout the show. I think overall it gave us the confidence that out official opening night would go well. On Friday, most of us managed to get to the theater early so we could run some of the tricky spots that hadn't worked as well as we'd hoped the night before.

It seemed like we had gotten all out good nervous energy out the night before and couldn't find it for our opening. My personal show was... meh. I forgot a couple words, and wasn't supporting my voice like I should have been, and though it could have been much worse it still wasn't great. There was the lack of energy, but I think the main thing that threw us off is that some parts of our orchestra didn't get specific cuts in the music, so at times there would be extra bars, or the song would be played in two different keys at points. It's hard to be in the moment when you're worried about what you'll hear next. There were spots that some people had to just speak their words instead of sing them.

I had all day yesterday to think about the previous performance and the one coming up. I don't know about you, but when I'm nervous or agitated or I just need to occupy my mind for a period of time, I clean. But even when my room was spic'n'span and my laundry was done, I was more nervous than ever. It's so frustrating, not knowing what to do about that feeling. I stopped taking xanax a long time ago and didn't have time for a nap, so I had some chamomile tea. It's almost embarrassing to admit that I felt so weird I wanted to cry. It seemed like if I did then I would feel better, but I couldn't even do that. So tea was my next best option.

Funny how as soon as I get to the theater I always feel better. All my crazy bad nervous energy soon turned into good energy and I got the feeling we were going to have a great show. As soon as we started, I was sure of it. And a good thing too, because Evan and two other friends of mine were there to see it. We had a couple sound issues in the beginning, and I messed up some of my words in the exact same spot as the two days prior to that, but the orchestra was fantastic and the audience got more enthusiastic as the show went on. I've said it before and I mean it: I'm so very proud of what we did last night. I know it wasn't the personal best for some people, but as a whole it was definitely the best we've done yet.

When we were finished our director, Robert, came back stage to congratulate us on such a success and inform us that...... there's a possibility of extending the run. I think it would be amazing to have more than just 3 more shows. We've gotten great feedback, and it's a show that a lot of people wouldn't normally get the chance to see. So I'm crossing my fingers that this is going to happen. :)

I'm feeling pretty okay today. Maybe it's because I'm working and don't have the whole day to wait around for the show tonight. I still get little flashes of the weird nerves, but I'm mostly excited. I got a couple video clips of when we were running parts of songs last night, so I'll try to get them up here.

**Tickets can be purchased at www.plays411.com/chessinconcert - select nights have discount tickets with the promo code "bargain"**

Nerves

Tonight is the preview night for Chess. We're going to have an audience, and it's actually going to be the very first time we've run the entire show from beginning to end. When I told my coworker this, she asked if I was nervous. I told her that I had butterflies, but now an hour and a half later I realize that I am nervous. It's strange, since I don't remember the last time I was actually nervous before a show. I'm used to having butterflies, because putting up a show is always exciting for me. I've gotten very good at trusting that I know the show and that if anything goes wrong it will be fixed. So this is strange, knowing I will be just fine but still feeling a little scared.

I'm pretty sure it's the situation rather than self confidence. I've never put up a show in this amount of time, not to mention I'd only heard a few songs before being cast. We've had the orchestra for three days, they just got their music Monday, and we just finished the blocking yesterday. Also, I was talking with the music director yesterday and at one point he gave me one of those looks and said something to the effect of: Don't freak out, but this is a huge opportunity for you. Make the most of it.

Even with all of this in my mind, I'm absolutely positive that we've put together an incredible show. I think anyone I know that has seen me perform before will be impressed at how different this is than anything else I've done. Plus, I'm hitting higher notes than I ever thought possible for my voice :)

I'm so pleased that I've been trusted to take on such an important role, and proud of myself for taking the strides to make it happen. Writing all this out is really helping me feel better. I know as soon as I hit the stage the adrenaline will kick in and all will be fine. I wish there was a chance for more performances. This show is so rarely done, and I know that there will be a lot of people coming to see it.

And on that note, there are a few 1/2 price tickets available on www.goldstar.com for this weekend! Search for Chess In Concert or The Met theatre.

Auditions...

First things first - I had an audition for Chess In concert last night. I showed up, sang something from Jekyll & Hyde, and I think that may be the best I've ever sounded in a musical audition. Now I know that if I don't get a callback, it's simply because I'm not what they're looking for. It's great to fees so confident about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My hair has been causing problems for me. It started yesterday when I woke up at 8 to go to a 10:45 audition in Culver City, for a small role in a Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis movie. I showered and got me hair set to do a beautiful blowout, and decided to use a brush I don't normally use for that. Huge mistake. As I started unrolling my first strand of hair from the brush, it was absolutely stuck just one inch from my scalp. Normally you roll it back up a little or pull a few small strands from the brush to fix that, but it wouldn't budge. I spent at least 20 minutes trying to free the brush from my hair, and I hadn't even decided what to wear yet.

Once I finally found a way to put myself together I set off for Sony studios. Of course, the 10 was awful and I got to the parking structure exactly at my appointment time. Only to find out security didn't have my name in the system, and in calling my manager I found out the audition was for this morning, not yesterday morning.

So I went through it all again today. Woke up about 10 minutes earlier and made sure to use the right brush this time. Everything was going smoothly until I was halfway done with my hair and, pop, my blow dryer exploded. Ok, I guess that's exaggerating a little. But there were some serious sparks that came from it -- and not the part where the air comes out, the part where the cord meets the handle. A bit frightening, I'll admit. There was no way I was letting the other half of my hair air dry with all that mousse in it, so I threw it up in bun and hustled down to Walgreens to buy a new one.

Luckily I had picked my outfit early on accident (remember, I did it the day before!) but got on the road only 10 minutes earlier than I did on the first try. Thank goodness for those extra minutes I gave myself in waking up early. The 10 was fine and I parked with 10 minutes to spare. Seems like "10 minutes" is the theme of this segment... So I check in with security and get a map to find my way aaaaalllllll the way across the lot, past at least 27 sound stages, past the streets and buildings they have on location to tweak to look like real places, and up three flights of stairs. In the summer. In California.

The audition itself felt like it took less than a minute, and it very well may have. There were some girls that were literally in the room for 20 seconds and then they were done. I was called into the room and read my four lines, she gave me a slight adjustment and asked me to do it again. I did and it was fine, and that was that. I feel like it's really going to be based on looks, and though I'm confident in how I look, there were some AMAZING looking girls in that room. I'm find with believing that I didn't get the part, and I'm sure Evan's even happier because if I got it I'd have to make out with Justin Timberlake.

So until next time, I'm just waiting for the next train (that's for you, Lauren!)

Knock On Wood

At the risk of something going awry again, I have to say it.... I have an agency.

As you may remember, a few weeks ago I thought I got the confirmation call on this agency, only to be unsure about it again. Neither I nor my manager was sure what was going on. But she called me on Friday with the good news.... that the two women I initially interviewed with were enthusiastic and anxious and wanted to move ahead, confident that the third agent I met with would come around. Not that he didn't particularly like me, but he was just on the fence and hadn't had time to really sit down with my reel and resume and think about the meeting. So I didn't wow him, no biggie. I charmed the other two enough to do business with the whole agency.

I wanted to write Friday after I got home from the show, but I wasn't sure there was enough to make me confident that this decision would stick. Well, not moments ago I got a call from my manager, saying she got a 'welcome' call from one of the agents. She instructed me to get in touch with the online breakdown service and have them add the agency to my profile. I also gave the agent a call so I can confidently say it is officially official. Phew!! Both the manager and agent told me that agent no. 3 just doesn't work with that many young people so that's why he was on the fence, but that doesn't mean that he won't submit me. They previously had a young client that he himself put on a series, so it's all good news.

I also have an audition for a backdoor pilot on Wednesday. No that's not something dirty - it's a "pilot episode filmed as a standalone movie so it can be broadcast if not picked up as a series", so says Variety. The character is a serious 16 year old girl, I think I can pull that off. Plus, as of today my demo reel is finally up online so hopefully that will bring in more auditions as well. I figure that at this point it's just a numbers game. I'm confident that I can book things and impress people, it's just about finding the role that fits. And now with a manager and a few agents working for me, my chances of finding that role (maybe even many of them) have skyrocketed. I've told people, "it's only taken me 6 years to get this far!" But in actuality, I'm lucky to have gotten so much within a year and a half. After school, I didn't really pursue anything until the beginning of last year. So I really have made huge strides in a short time.

We're down to one more weekend of Godspell, only 5 more shows! What a fun time I've had with this production. Each show we do is more fun than the last. I'm so so happy to have all of these people as my friends. They're all talented and driven and just wonderful people. I could brag about them all day long.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, I'm going to see In The Heights tomorrow. I'm bringing Evan. I think he'll like it.

When my manager said she was going to keep me busy, she wasn't lying. I auditioned for the British television series yesterday* and now I have auditions for features films tomorrow morning and Thursday morning. I'm looking to get a little coaching from a casting director I worked with a while ago for the Thursday audition. I'm working for the rest of the day and then have plans this evening, but tomorrow's should be pretty easy anyway.

*The audition - I got there at 4:40 for my appointment at 5, and there were at least 7 other people there. For 3 short scenes I figured about 3-5 minutes for each person. Well, I didn't get seen until after 6:00. It's not that unheard of if they've been running behind all day, but some girls were in there for about 15 minutes. Toward the end they had us to only two of the three scenes, and since I was the last one in there I felt like they really wanted to get it over with so it was short and sweet. Though the girls there didn't look any older than me, only one or two looked like they could really pass for 14 years old. But that's just what I saw, there was a page of people before me that I never saw.*

So while I was waiting, my manager called and told me about the audition for Thursday. It's something she mentioned earlier so it was exciting to hear that they want to see me. I got the news about tomorrow's audition while at work today, and that one was a surprise. It's all very exciting, these are both projects I can see myself fitting into well. Ever since the Rock of Ages incident I'm a little weary of telling a lot of people about the projects I'm going out for, but I assure you I'll let you know the details once I book something! A casting director suggested I submit for the new Transformers movie, which would be awesome but I think I should leave that up to my manager. I could ask her about it, but as for actually submitting that would be better left in her arena.

REPRESENT

I spent almost all day on Sunday shopping for what I was going to wear to my meetings Monday and Tuesday. I probably could have put something together with what I already have in my closet, but I think the main point was to get my mind off over thinking what I would do and say and what I wold be asked, and just focus on one thing I could control: how I looked. I got an amazing navy and white dress that I decided to wear to the agent meeting. The best part about it? It's a size 3. Now, I'm not kidding myself into thinking this is the rule - I know I'm not normally a size 3, and probably haven't been since about middle school. But it was a nice boost of confidence, to have that at the back of my mind while I was waiting to see the agent.

Up at 7:30 again for an 11:30 meeting, and that gave me plenty of time go get ready and on the road. I had a few butterflies but nothing that a nice deep breath didn't dissipate. The office was nice, on the 8th floor of a building along the miracle mile. The meeting was relatively short and sweet. She brought me in, we chatted about my resume and experience, and brought in the other two commercial agents she worked with to meet me. One of them had even heard of my hometown! The thing about Gilroy is that you either know it's the garlic capital of the world, or you've never heard of it before. So I like to tell people where I grew up because they're always very proud of themselves for knowing that fact, or interested that there is actually a garlic capital anywhere. I was back in my car and feeling good in 15 minutes. the have a meeting today, so I'm going to give her a call in the morning to check back in.

Then yesterday I had a meeting with a manager yesterday morning at noon. Though I had plenty of time to get ready the day before, I still set my alarm for 8:00. I woke up around 7 all by myself and as much as I tried to get a little more rest, I couldn't get back to sleep. For this meeting I decided to go a little more casual, and felt more comfortable. A manager isn't just about booking jobs, but about building a career and a brand, so I wanted to present myself more like how I am every day. Just a little more professional. From the moment I met this manager I felt good about it. She's got a great energy, loves what she does, and seems like she really gets the job done. She was very straightforward about her own career and how she wants to expand, and it seemed to me like I could probably fit in. This meeting was a little over 20 minutes, but it was less about questions and more about talking a discussing what we were both looking for.

I got a call from her this morning just as I got to Evan's house (good thing I was out of my house, I get terrible service there) and she said that though I'm older than she thought but we're going to try it out, try to get me an agent and book me some things. If things start progressing, or I get callbacks, then we'll proceed. Sounds fair enough to me! She said she already pitched me for Mean Girls II which I'm really excited about. I was taught in school to have some things in mind that I could be in, and Mean Girls was one of the things on my list. So even if I just get an audition for that, it would be so cool. She also wants to submit me for a series that shoots in Liverpool. So just in case, if you know know anyone I can stay with for a week or two that lives around the area, gimme a holler. I wish I still stayed in touch with those kids from manchester....

We are doing our first ever full runthrough of Godspell tonight! It's a little frightening, but I think we're going to do just fine. Once we smooth out the transitions we'll have a pretty darn good show on our hands! All of these early mornings started to catch up with me yesterday. I was tired even as I was driving to rehearsal, and it was hard to keep my eyes open during notes at the end, but I got home safe and sound and slept as long as I could this morning.

Ahhhh. I'm making good on my promise to myself to get things done. I like this.

Lets Get This Started

I woke up yesterday feeling much better. I think I just needed to stop thinking about all of it for a while and what better way to do that than sleeping for a few hours. I even got through the whole day without feeling awful! See, it's getting better already. Part of my feeling better was probably because I wrote an email to Raul explaining how sorry I was to disappoint him and the director he was working with, and that I'd leaned to be more conscious of my prior obligations before I auditioned for something in the future. Though I haven't heard anything back, it felt good to take responsibility and touch base one more time.

My friends and family are all being very supportive about my decision. Evan keeps telling me that any choice I make is the right choice, and I suppose he's right. There's really no telling where each job will take me career wise, so all I can do is believe in the choices I make and do my best to make them the better choice. I've decided that this summer I'm going to be working on my career like never before. Along with being healthy and going to the gym, I'm going to set a deadline to get new headshots (and save up to get them printed out too, not just shot!), wrangle myself an agent and/or manager, expand my songbook, look into acting classes.... everything I can think of I'll do.

I was referred to an agent by a guy I did a student film with (which, by the way, recently won "Best Comedy" at the college level equivalent of the Emmys) so I'll be sending in my stuff this week. I found out in this week's issue of Backstage that it's very common for acting schools and conservatories to not go into the business of acting at all. I'm very lucky that AMDA actually did. A large portion of out last semester was focused on informing us about the business side of acting, and though I honestly haven't employed most of this information since graduating, I still have all my papers and notes and that helps me to feel confident. I imagine a lot of this summer will be spent re-reading all of that information that I got while in school.

My point in saying all that stuff about school is, I wrote my first cover letter yesterday. In the past I've gone to Samuel French and picked up the latest print out of agents, large envelopes, and decided who'd I thought I'd be a good fit with, but never ever sent anything out. Also, the fist headshots I ever had taken - at least 4 years ago - are the only ones I've ever had printed out in bulk. So this is the summer I update everything, including my work ethic. It's already had a slow start as of the beginning of last year, but this will be the push.

Hello Again

By now I'm positive no one reads this anymore. I haven't posted anything since, what, December? Over 4 months. During that time my dear friend Lauren has put her blog back up, and taken it down, and put it back up again. I really love what she has to say, even if it's just a silly story about her grandmother or her friends I've never met. She's a great writer, and whatever the content it's always captivating. I'm more judgmental than I let on too, so it's nice to know I have truly talented people in my life.

I'm admittedly not the best writer. I don't even like writing very much at all. Have I said that before? Probably. I've probably also mentioned that in high school I avoided writing papers whenever possible, and even sometimes when not writing one wasn't an option. But - have kept journals since the third grade. It's always felt good just to write about things happening in my life. I used to imagine my nieces or grandchildren reading about all the things that happened to me. I also used to imagine being really old, and I would only remember things because of these journals. In the past few years the journal entries have dwindled. The last time I wrote an entry was probably sometime last year. The thing is, things are still happening in my life, I'd say more so now than when then majority of the entries were written. So since I'm at work, and it's a relatively slow day, I'll try for a recap of the past few months...


RENT - I was once again cast as Mimi and we had a successful and wonderful run of RENT in Rancho Cucamonga. The theater was beautiful, with 500 something seats, and a real backstage this time! It was a great experience doing the show with a cast nearly entirely new to me (save for Ben, Casey, and Dylan). Last time I was very familiar with the show, but going into this production knowing the script like the back of my hand, I got a lot deeper with character development and making my personal show more fluid. I couldn't have been more proud of what we all put up on that stage, and for two weekends this cast made some serious magic.

There is going to be a production of RENT at the Hollywood Bowl late this summer, and of course many of my castmates went out to audition for that. I unfortunately wasn't able to stay and be seen on the day of the singing call, but once my boss heard that she offered to take half my shift the next day so I could dance. I've never considered myself a fantastic dancer, but I really impressed myself and didn't screw up once. I didn't get called back, but I wasn't really expecting to be. I was a little bummed, but as soon as I found out they're casting the likes of Vanessa Hudgens and possibly Justin Timberlake, I was a little less hard on myself. None of us had a chance, and although it may not be fair, it's ok.

*A little tangent - I'm usually very good about going to an audition, doing my thing, and then just leaving and forgetting about it. That really is the best way to deal with being in this business. No one ever lets you know if you don't get something, so if you hang onto every audition, you're in for a world of depression. But since finishing RENT, it's been hard to live up to my philosophy of letting go. My brain wants to analyze everything I did for a few days after the fact, and when no call or email comes to interrupt those pesky thoughts, it's easy to get frustrated with yourself.*

I also auditioned for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee in the OC. I've been having trouble relaying the correct tempo of my songs to pianists, and so when I started singing my song it was almost in cut time, which did not at all lend itself to a good audition on my behalf. I suppose I could have stopped, clarified, and started over but.... ok fine, it was Jason Robert Brown and apparently his music isn't easy to play. But I could have sworn this song was! I mean, even I could probably play it and I'm hardly a pianist. Anyway, for whatever reason, I continued to sing my uptempo as a ballad and did not get called back. If only I had a better audition, I think I would be perfect for this show. So I couldn't get that off my mind for a few days. (I later found out that the girl who got the part I was aiming for is married to someone involved with the production. Great.)

Our music director David from RENT held auditions for a production of Godspell which he's directing/music directing, and again many members of my RENT cast showed up. I sang Janis Joplin and was called back for the next day. Due to getting out of work late, I showed up to the callback an hour late, missing the dance portion, with just enough time to sing a little before we moved on to monologues. I don't know why, but I felt really terrible about it. I told my friends and roommates as soon as I got home that I sucked and was sure I didn't get cast. A little melodramatic, I know. Much to my surprise, I got a voicemail when I left my house the next morning (because I rarely receive calls at my house, due to the awful service in Echo Park), it was David calling late the night before, saying he was excited to work on another show with me.

That was a big sigh of relief for me... I remember going out to a late lunch with Ben and Loren (Angel and Collins from the Rancho RENT) right after the Putnam audition and telling then how very much I needed to be in another show. It's so hard to close a show and not having something lined up. Luckily I do have my day job at the waxing studio, which I love very very much, but of course that doesn't engage me like being on stage. I never knew how much I like being busy until I got back into acting.

The touring company of Mamma Mia held auditions last weekend. I sang the National Anthem at the Rose Bowl for Walk MS, and headed over to the studio. I got there around 10:30, and I believe I was seen at close to 5:30. Luckily I knew a few of the people there so I didn't just have to read or play sudoku the whole time. But there was also another guy there, and it was pretty apparent he didn't belong. That sounds harsh, but you have to understand.... everyone else at the audition, as with every other audition I've been to out here, has studied in some way, and put forth a lot of effort to be the best we can at what we're trying to do. Then along comes someone like this guy who probably didn't even realize the stage production came before the movie. He didn't know what a hardcopy was (headshot), and when I asked if he was a fan of ABBA he didn't know what I was talking about. With as many people as there were there, it makes me a little angry that people like this will show up and take a time slot from someone more qualified and deserving.

Well now we're all caught up to the present. Two days ago I got a call from a casting director that I know who has cast me before and and asked me to come in and audition for various things. There's a project I submitted myself a long time ago that he's casting for, and although I wasn't sure that I was really right for the role I studied up and went in for it anyway. The thing about this show is that it's in Colorado, and the commitment would be all summer long. I realized there were conflicts with Godspell, but I figured that in the slim chance that I was actually cast, I'd figure it out from there.

I went in yesterday for the audition. I got the offer today.

I guess I shouldn't have auditioned if I knew there would be many conflicts with the show I'm currently in. My justification for that is this: I've been so used to not getting cast or called back for things I've auditioned for in the past few weeks, I figured I'd go in to at least get my face in front of another director, see a lovely casting director friend, have some fun and then walk away. It was a nice change to leave feeling ok, rather than immediately thinking I did awful and pouting for a day and a half.

So here's what is on my brain right now: Turn down or drop out? Money? Prior commitment? Summerlong "job security"? Loyalty? Responsibility? Opportunity? And to top it all off, my day job that I do love so much. I don't want to screw anyone over there probably most of all. I'm very lucky that it's so flexible and I really do enjoy what I do there.

I've talked to my mom, my co-workers, my boss, and briefly to Evan, but in the end it's down to me. I don't want to be the girl who always drops out of things for something better (like I did for RENT the first time around), and I don't want Raul, the casting director, to get the impression that I come in for auditions on a lark and can't follow through (like I did earlier this year when he called me back for a role and I decided it wasn't for me).

My co-worker Jill said that if this is the worst of my problems, it really ain't so bad. True, yes. I wish I could do both, but unfortunately it won't work out that way. It's the old "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.

Well I guess that's you get for being so very talented. *Sigh* Oh the life of Nicci Claspell....